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Hunting for Serenity

April 8, 2020

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change…..”

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Seems like a pretty far out thought, hey? An incredibly foreign notion to so many.

We sometimes feel we have to take on the world and fix it all and, when that is not possible, and we feel like we are failing, we get so overwhelmed that we end up taking out frustrations on other people unknowingly (or knowingly) or ourselves creating perpetuate bad habits. 

While it is not easy sometimes, it IS possible to chill and put things into perspective to learn how to roll with life and not leave holes in walls or curl up into a fetal position in a corner.

 

For so many years, I had a hard time accepting life's situations and people as they were for a thousand different reasons in a thousand different ways, skipping all the way into adulthood. Acceptance? What? Listen here, Sister,  I am in charge here and you're not the boss of me!  I am in charge of my own destiny!  Me. Not you! I get to choose my path and my successes!  Um, ya right. Sorry, my friends, but that is a little bit much and I hate to burst your bubble but ……..hang on. I can explain.

 

Let's have a look at some basic acceptances we generally don’t think of:

  • We have a face

  • The sun and moon shine at different times of the day

  • You will sleep again at some point

  • My hair clip is pink (just trust me here)

  • Death and taxes

You pickin’ up what I am puttin’ down? These are things we accept. We accept because it just is.

 

We cannot do anything about them and we learn to roll with it. The good and the not so good. So try this one on for size:  I chose to drink but I did not choose to be an alcoholic. Make sense? It gets ugly real fast. I cannot drink and have a normal life at the same time. With a lot of help through a river of tears, I learned to accept it. That was the only way to feel peace in my world and begin to heal. 

 

So let's have a brief look at this again. There is a new norm out there continuing for a while and somewhat out of our control as we are in still the middle of a worldwide pandemic. People are dying. Social gatherings have come to a grinding halt both in home and restaurants, coffee shops, nightclubs, etc. Going in and out of grocery stores are met with guards letting only a  certain number of people in and the rest wait in marked lines outside- a socially distant line of 6 feet apart. Toilet paper and paper towel is still a hot commodity and guarded. (And the price on some of it!! Wow! I saw a 4-pack of paper towel (name brand) for $ 24.00!! Are you freaking kidding me???? Not cool! 

 

But guess what, kids!  We can, however, choose how we move through this. People are also living and surviving the Coronavirus. People are walking in the sun at the socially acceptable distance of 6 feet apart. Zoom meetings and phone calls and Facetime are easily accessed and they dont have to wear pants! Eventually we hug our loved ones (my kids got huge bear hugs!). So as drained and miserable as we can feel, we get to choose where we going to focus our attention so we stave off more depression and more drama than we have and at least not make it suck worse. 

 

 

Acknowledge the very real and legitimate depression, frustration, and anger. Cry when you need to because it needs to come out and let it flow, baby. I cannot tell you how many times I thought of drinking these past few weeks!!!  Know that is how you feel at that time that it is ok. Know that you are so very normal for having these feelings. And know that it is also good to laugh until your sides split and you feel like puking - even if it is just at a commercial you saw (like the Reese’s Peanut Butter cup one I saw the other day. Funny! !). Smile at the bunny and kitten videos. Know that you are human and will have a range of emotions.

 

You cannot change the entire world, only your perception and how you grow and learn and that is half the battle, really. Honestly, why would you want to control everything anyway? Life zips by so fast and start having peace in your life by learning to accept you are part of it and only together we can get by - not on our own controlling it all. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Time for a nap. 

 

~Dani

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