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Conquer Resistance PART III

OUR FEAR OF FEAR

Hi and welcome back to the Art of Onward!! As our third part of the short series “Conquer Resistance”, we are looking at FEAR. Terrifying word, isn’t it? Read on, and let’s turn this around.

Over the past few months, I have been studying and learning about various ways to deal with pain in a healthy manner, how to build healthy patterns around pain, and that, read closely here now because this was a huge reveal for me -

Our unhealthy patterns where dealing with pain is concerned is more often than not

THE FEAR OF EXPERIENCING PAIN, not the actual pain itself. This means we think we are dealing with pain, but are in reality dealing with the process of AVOIDING the Experience of Pain. (Here, let me encourage you, the human spirit us much stronger when that moment comes than we give it credit for.)

Conquering Fear

As human beings, we have an innate dislike for pain. And why shouldn’t we? It hurts! It doesn’t feel good, it is PAINFUL.

Extremely straightforward, right? Still, a big reveal. We fall prey to thought tricks that ultimately incur more pain in the long term:

  • avoid love, because we’ve been hurt before, and our brain is telling us it will happen again, and we must avoid that excruciating pain by any means possible. So, the best way to effectively protect ourselves, is to AVOID. So we somehow choose to isolate that part of our hearts, and don’t fulfill that relationship aspect of our needs in this Human Experience, robbing ourselves of the potentially most fulfilling relationship on our lives. Why? Fear. We avoid pain and the potential of pain, and cause ourselves other types of pain in the process.

  • give up after disappointment. We’ve worked hard and to the best of our abilities on something we thought should turn out in a certain way, and it didn’t happen. We did everything we could think of, and it just didn’t work out. We are crushed, disappointed, discouraged, and frustrated. So we give up, because our nervous system, again, is telling us to avoid those painful feelings at all costs. It is better to give up than to try again.

  • stay where we’re at, when we know we’d be healthier in a different situation. The fear of the unknown will keep us in locked in to status quo because of this mentality: “Better the Evil you know than the Evil you don’t.” This is NOT TRUE. You know the choices you need to make to nurture a healthier you, in a healthier place, for a healthier path toward your Onward.

  • We don’t take the leap to go to that University or College where the courses are exactly what we need for our education, because we are too afraid of being far away from where we’ve grown up and the comfort provided there by the knowing of our surroundings.

A few others: