Not Easy Means Not Easy. That's All.
Welcome back to the Art of Onward, where I’m using my story to inspire yours.
This may sound trite to some - a catchy little slogan perhaps - but I say it with all the weight in the world behind each word.
My story is one of many joys, and extreme heartbreak and brokenness. I’ve had to fight for my joys, up until now, and now I battle my own slew of resistances to write this blog, which I can only hope will help you or someone out there.
This vulnerability thing is not a natural state for me, but as I struggled through the shock, into the grey haze of my recovery process and then back into the color of life, I decided I want to turn this around and make it count for good.
I’ve always believed the hearts of the world can most easily be changed with the use of story. My life’s purpose has always been to bring light where there is darkness, so I pray as you read this post, and the others I offer you here on this site, you will receive some illumination for yourself.
I’ve been away for some time! I’ve really missed writing here, and am so grateful to be back. You’re possibly wondering where I’ve been for the past few months? Well, I was living alone in a house that echoed with life, love, heartbreak, memories both lovely and devastating… in short - the last 15 years of my life. My daughters had moved out and there I was in a big house, by myself, selling as much furniture as I could, packing up belongings and mementoes, and slowly succumbing to the frustration of being left quite alone in this lonely situation of dissolving a life into boxes and suitcases.
I found myself again becoming silent in my grief. The resistance was coming at me from all over as well, my little pug dog needed emergency surgery (there went my savings) and my extended family, and even some friends I counted on for support, decided to attack me at will - I somehow became the punching bag for those around me as I struggled to get to this next chapter of my life. Oh, and the house sale even fell through! I mean wow, it was all pointing me directly to being stuck for a long time to come. I could not accept that sentence, I would not. I saw it for what it was - resistance. And I kept my focus as much as I could as each delay and hit came at me.
Finally, I packed what I could into my MINI, the two dogs, and drove to Los Angeles. It took four days, and I will always be grateful for the obviously divine presence that cleared weather patterns, roads, and somehow carried us safely here.
And here we are! I was seriously beginning to doubt this could happen, but I had promised myself, and I had promised my daughter, I would be in Los Angeles before Christmas.
Just barely !! But yes, in time to get a bed and some furniture built (my hands hurt for weeks after because I didn’t have power tools), a few groceries and then Christmas preparations in