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Loving Your Self

Happy Valentine's Day!

Do you have a love you're spending the day with today? Do you have someone you wish you were spending your day with today?

I have been taking a number of courses these past six months on relationships, the psychology aspects behind how women think, and how men respond and think in their own ways.

And here we are - the day of LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS. Oh, so many expectations. The perfect evening, the fresh flowers, the box of chocolates. (Yup, I'm speaking about us women) We want the doors opened for us, and to feel special, beautiful and loved unconditionally, yet appreciated for all the effort we put in to our image for this promising date.

We expect perfection. Stimulating and enticing conversations, to be the only one HE has eyes for.

And MEN, you feel the pressure of being the perfect gentleman, pulling the chair out so she can sit without having to pause mid air, to know exactly what kind of flowers she likes, and to find the perfect gift to make her feel special. You want to be the superhero of the evening.

Oh but we are all human beings. And, well, yes, imperfect. Let's take some pressure off, and focus on the heart beneath it all. The INTENTION behind our efforts.

And let's get to reality, for a second, if you will.

How much do we LOVE our own SELVES??

Yup, I went there. Sorry, not Sorry :)

The relationship we cultivate with ourselves is the longest, and most important of all. No matter what, where, how, every evening we look ourselves in the eye and are confronted with our fears, doubts, triggers, joys, loves - in short, all of it. One big package of humanity, wrapped up in the skin that is you.

Do you love what you see? Do you embrace that look in your eyes? Have you heard and acknowledged the voices you've been silencing all day? Because if not, they get oh so loud when we try to get to sleep.

The shadow side of you. Yes, that person we don't want to acknowledge, they are all the aspects of ourselves we do not wish to accept, we do not want to cherish, and we certainly don't want anyone else to meet.

Loving ourselves means we embrace all of ourselves. Not just the parts we enjoy putting the spotlights on to. Not just our shiny selves we present to the world. There is that whole other self, you can feel her or him, hiding within, screaming at us for attention.

If we wish to truly love ourselves, we must acknowledge that shadow self, we need to learn to embrace that self, love it, nurture it, hear it, even speak to it.