Hi and welcome back to The Art of Onward - where I'm Using My Story to Inspire Yours.
There are so many aspects of emotional trauma - physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, and intellectual. Yes, I've separated intellectual from mental, because in my experience, these function on different levels and in different capacities.
In my past few posts I've talked a lot about self care, re-training your self talk to stop attacking you, and the paths I've followed that have taken me toward the next step of healing in those areas.
Today I want to share how I organized a massive counter attack on my intellect. The constant voices in my head and the lack of focus I was experiencing from day one following my "event", were threatening to take complete control of my life. It felt like they were actually gaining power, I was losing my power, and I feared I would never be rid of them. I didn't know how to shut them up! I just couldn't find a way to get control over my own brain. It was a very discouraging time, when I realized it had now been over two years, and my mind was still a jungle of cruel attacks. On my self, on what I perceived others had 'done to me', on my future.
One day I decided I'd had enough. It was time to make a change that allowed me to regain control over my mind, over my thoughts. No one else would or could do this for me, and I needed to fight back hard. I'm a warrior! Why was I letting this happen!? So I did. I fought back.
I found a course on Self Love. And then another on Relationships. I mean long, intense, highly educational 12 - 20 hour courses I could take on my own time, in the comfort of my home.
As time went on, my attention span became longer as I allowed my intellect an avenue to occupy itself in ways it hadn't in a long time. I've always loved learning, there is so much out there I don't know, and I became a sponge for knowledge. It started with the Self Love course, and kept building fr