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Conquer Resistance PART I

Welcome back to the Art of Onward! I am truly grateful you’ve found your way here, and I hope you’ll take some time to read the articles I’ve posted, where I’m using what I’ve learned, what I continue to learn, and what I’ve found to work for my recovery, what I’ve learned through the courses I’ve taken, to help your recovery from PTSD, from Betrayal Trauma, Depression and Anxiety.

Healing begins with us. It is our choice to move toward recovery. It is our freedom to decide to move toward our own onward.

So often, though, we find ourselves getting pulled down by our thoughts. Yes, those thoughts that either encourage and empower us, or those paradigms from days gone by, that will lie, cheat and steal to drag us back down to a cruel thought pattern, to vicious self talk.

Why do paradigms do this to us? Why do we often face this struggle to move onward? The perceived safety of what we know is the cause. As painful as yesterday or yesteryear may have been, we’ve been there, and we know on some level that we can survive it. We’re here now, right?

Paradigms, therefore, strive to inform us that if we can survive that status quo, it is safer for our nervous system than to move toward our onward, upward, forward, toward an unknown place. Regardless of the promise of increased joy, contentment, self worth and love, the paradigm pulls us down by every means available to it.

I call paradigms RESISTANCE. It is the perceived safety (that is not conducive to our continued growth, healing and recovery) that attacks our desires to dream, to hope again, to move in to a better and stronger tomorrow. And when it attacks, we are offered a choice of whether to allow ourselves to be pulled backward, or to face the battle - and come out stronger on the other side.

Oh it’s hard, I know. How many days do we just give in, because we’re exhausted emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and we choose to let go of our resolve.

Don’t beat yourself up about those days, choose to define where that fatigue and lack of motivation toward your wellness, your wholeness, was seeded, and write them down in your journal, list format down the left side of the page.

Now, on the right side of the page, write down ideas of how you can eliminate, or at least minimize the power, of those seedlings.

Some Ideas of what can cause our minimized motivation:

  1. Did you lack sleep the night before? It’s difficult to be strong emotionally, if we haven’t slept well, or long enough. What can you do to allow yourself a better result tonight?

  2. Did you eat too much junk food for a week, and feel uncomfortable with the extra layer of weight you’ve accumulated? We eat what we put in our shopping carts, so perhaps it’s time to return to the store, buy fresh vegetables and fruit, and healthier options.

  3. Did you neglect your exercise commitment? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what you’d like to do to increase your body’s wellbeing, and switch it up to something a little easier to commit to on a daily basis. This could be a good time to find something a little different, perhaps a brisk walk in the fresh air will build up your motivation again, and you can return to your usual routine next week.

  4. Did you neglect to make the time for your spiritual practice? I find this one all important. I recently saw a post on instagram: I am sorry for what I said before I meditated. Ah yes, when we neglect the spiritual side of our nature, our very soul, we lose our focus and strength faster than any other way. To assure yourself to set the time aside, try setting an alarm on your phone in increments throughout the day. I encourage you to set three times, and gift yourself with 3 - 5 minutes every time the alarm sounds. Yes, you are worth the time. Yes, you deserve that time. Do it for you and for your Onward.

Other ways we can weaken our emotional states:

*Did you watch too much TV?

*Did you overwork yourself and didn’t allow for any downtime?

*Is there a relationship with someone that could use some healing?

These weakening patterns are not helping to build strength, courage and resilience for that next battle with resistance. Yes, there will be a battle, and yes it is coming our way. So we must be prepared.

Why can I say with certainty there will be a battle? Because as soon as we grow and stretch our awareness and self worth, we heading toward a healthier and more fulfilling tomorrow, and yesterday will come a-knockin’, to try to pull us back in to that perceived sense of safety.

Once you’ve made the two lists of what is weakening you, choose one or two from the right column of stronger choices, that you will work with today. And set aside two more for tomorrow. By the end of the week, you’ll have a solid beginning to a building stronger habits. You will find your body and mind working together to strengthen you with resilience for that next paradigm visit.

I want to share hope with you - because when paradigms are coming at us, we should be celebrating! This is a sign that we are moving forward, that we are growing in to our onward. It might be hard to see in the moment, but CELEBRATE the RESISTANCE! It doesn’t show up when we are stagnant. Because it doesn’t have to.

So get ready, prepare yourself for its arrival. Because even by just reading this post, you’ll have grown and expanded.

SO much Love to each of you!


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